My good friend Shane (aka Feargal Morrissey Calvin Smith Stipe) sent me an e-mail today reminding me why I keep meaning to re-register for daily e-mail headlines from our hometown paper. JoMo, as us extremely cool people call it, is a very special place. It’s the new Prague. With inbreeding.
And really gullible kids. Or perhaps extremely smart ones. A 16-year-old female Sonic manager and the 19-year-old male cook got caught naked in a bathroom together, doing fun things to each other. They say they fell for the old “phone call from a cop” trick, where the caller, allegedly a cop, says your employee stole an old lady’s purse and you have to strip-search the person. Apparently performing oral sex on the suspect helps a theft investigation.
This doesn’t quite top the story I found a few years ago, when Missouri was considering making bestiality illegal because a guy who lived in Carl Junction was “married” to his pony, but it comes entertainingly close.
sid world headquarters
Tonya | 01-Jun-04 at 9:18 am | Permalink
I’m quite sure that Joplin, MO story wasn’t supposed to turn me on. Nonetheless…
;)
sid | 01-Jun-04 at 11:21 pm | Permalink
Nothing about Joplin is supposed to turn anyone on. But I kinda see your point. Oh, the millions I would have paid to be “searched” by the head hostess when I was a 16-year-old host at Red Lobster.
Robert, "Bob" before I became an asshole... | 02-Jun-04 at 3:07 am | Permalink
I thought the reader responses at the end of the article were just as humorous. For example:
Roger Daltrey writes:
“Somebody is awesome here. I don’t know if it’s some guy on a phone, or some kids working at Sonic, or just a liar who wrote this article. But this story justifies the claim that there exists at least one person besides me in this world who is awesome.”
Anonymous writes:
“So…. I need someone to give me a call at the office on Tuesday.”
Gym Nasium | 28-Oct-04 at 5:08 am | Permalink
So your hometown paper has headlines like:
“City: Gravel-road residents must pay for work”
I knew finding a decent job was hard in Joplin, but to PAY for the opportunity is a bit steep, no?