It’s not every day a story moves over the wire slugged “Breakdancing-Vatican.”

Thank God there were pictures.

I haven’t decided whom I’m voting for yet, but I feel bad for Howard Dean.

I’ve watched “journalists” all over TV gleefully proclaim this week that Dean’s campaign is over because of his little speech in Iowa, and I can’t figure out where they get their logic (or the balls to tell viewers how to vote). They say it shows he doesn’t have the temperament to handle White House duties. Bullshit. Dead didn’t act pissed off or nuts — he just came across like an uptight white guy trying to let loose and get inspired. Surely you’ve seen that happen before; it’s never a pretty sight. I mean, you’re glad the uptight white guy is finally letting his hair down and having fun/getting into the moment, but you know it’s going to be a little scary for everyone watching.

But guess what? All but one of the major-party contenders for the presidency are uptight white guys! I don’t know if their voices would hit quite the same pitches as Dean’s when they yell, but they all look a little goofy when they try to pull off some kind of impassioned plea. Al Gore came across as angry every time he tried to do an awe-inspiring, raised-voice speech, but nobody said he was nuts (for that, anyway). And when you see or hear a clip where the audience noise is not filtered out, you realize that the crowd did get inspired.

Although I think the Dean remixes are amazingly hilarious, in no way is that scream some sort of “sign” that he’s not fit to be president. Maybe if he went AWOL when he was supposed to be serving the military, I could understand. But not for sounding more like Jesse “The Body” Ventura just before a cage match than Thomas Jefferson at the Constitutional Convention.

Luckily, someone a little more eloquent and widely published than I agrees. The main lesson I learned from this incident is that there is no such thing as cable TV journalism.

But in case you haven’t, I’m really diggin’ on the Howard Dean “I Have A Scream” remixes floating around. We’ve already rocked to them in the newsroom today. Sometimes I love the Internet.

Here’s one Dean remix.

Then there’s the funky version.

And, of course, the 80s mix.

And, in the spirit of the Revolting Cocks, there is a Deliverance mix, too.

Apparently it’s a trend that’s sweeping the Internet, which means it’ won’t be cool tomorrow.

Five hundred combat boots in formation, representing the more

than 500 American soldiers killed to date in Iraq, line Chicago’s

Federal Plaza on Wednesday. The boots were placed in the

plaza along with a list of all the names of the soldiers who died

by the American Friends Service Committee to protest the war

in Iraq. (AP Photo/Brian Kersey)

“The moral of the story is that today’s dangerous music is tomorrow’s Muzak.”

Here’s the original “filthy 15,” a list of objectionable songs presented by the Parents Music Resource Center in 1985:

“Darling Nikki,” Prince
“Sugar Walls,” Sheena Easton
“Eat Me Alive,” Judas Priest
“Strap on Robbie Baby,” Vanity
“Bastard,” Motley Crue
“Let Me Put My Love Into You,” AC/DC
“We’re Not Gonna Take It,” Twisted Sister
“Dress You Up,” Madonna
“Animal,” W.A.S.P
“High ‘N Dry,” Def Leppard
“Into the Coven,” Mercyful Fate
“Trashed,” Black Sabbath
“In My House,” The Mary Jane Girls
“Possessed,” Venom
“She Bop,” Cyndi Lauper
— Orlando Sentinel