nude highway driving

Walking out of an Advance Auto Parts with my father, I see a red pickup truck sitting next to our car. In the passenger seat is a large redheaded woman with an eye patch smoking a cigarette. As I walk closer, she says in a mega-husky smoker voice: “Hey, can you find where to put the transmission fluid?”

“I have no idea,” I say.

Large, one-eyed lady looks at my father and asks him. He offers to try, so she pops the hood and gets out while Dad starts looking around the engine area.

Just then, her friend comes out with one of the clerks from Advance, also recruited to come help locate where to put the transmission fluid.

“Well I’ll let this man help you, he’s the expert,” my dad says.

“Nah, I’m just a peon,” Advance Guy replies.

“Peon,” says large, one-eyed lady, “does that mean you want me to pee on you?”

“I would hope you wouldn’t,” Advance Guy says nervously.

Dad and I quietly and quickly run for the car and escape before an Internet movie gets made.

Happy holidays, everyone.