We’re not like other families …

Two things heard the day before Thanksgiving at the home of my grandparents:

Grandma: Hey, Sid, your oysters are ready!

Me: Thanks!

Granddad: Those will put lead in your pencil. But you didn’t bring anybody to write to.

Later that night, at dinner …

Mom: One of my favorite pictures is that one of you and your grandfather on the beach.

Me: Yeah, can you believe that was taken 11 years ago?

Grandma: Didn’t one of you have your dick out in the picture?