… so let’s just be consistent and make this entry scattered, too! Groovy?

Whenever I think about the way the government courts the religious right and pushes those ideals onto America, I never quite buy it. I mean, I think most of the people in the religious right are sincere in their beliefs and think the earth is 2,000 years old or whatever … but I never really believe that the people in our government, John Ashcroft excepted, believe any of these concepts they are backing. It all seems to be done in an overwhelming aura of cynicism.

And now I think I’m right! After reading this very good article and some other information on Leo Strauss, the bitter-ass philosopher worshipped by the neocons, it all begins to make sense. He ardently believed in a lack of absolute truth and moral law, but felt that this understanding that all religion is crap was for the ruling few only. The masses, he postulated, can’t handle this truth and therefore religion must be pushed on them in order to keep them in line. And wait till you read the part about nationalism – everything kinda falls into place.

During the second Democratic debate, which I barely followed because I was working, the candidates kept getting interrupted by shouting people. For a moment I thought Al Sharpton was going to jump off stage and bust some ass, though I would have been more impressed if Joe Lieberman had ripped off his shirt, pointed to his “THUG LIFE” tattoo and yelled “You want a piece of me, punk-ass?!?!”

Some thoughts on the protesters:

First of all, if you’re in the back of the room and shouting off-camera, nobody’s really hearing your message.

Second, some of the protesters were yelling anti-Cheney stuff. Well, you’re kinda at the wrong place, man – these are the people who are trying to make Cheney go away.

Third, Lyndon LaRouche is a freak. His backers were some of the people yelling at the debate. Earlier in the day, as I was walking past the White House, LaRouche supporters ran up to me shouting “Regain your youth! Support LaRouche!” I’m not sure if I should regain my youth from someone who is … oh, I don’t know … 80 years old.

Disney reaffirms my belief that the entertainment industry completely hates its customers.

It was absolutely beautiful outside all day Tuesday.

An eerie 8th Street, Southeast, a couple nights ago:

Since I work at a serious newspaper, I can’t always go with the headlines I want. In fact, I think most publications other than Onion^*-types would reject the headlines I’d like to put on many stories. My stifled, brilliant creativity has to be released somewhere …

As you may or may not be aware, today is the 55th anniversary of the creation of North Korea. They’re going to have a parade, during which they are expected to unveil their new long-range missile, which allegedly can reach Guam and all the islands of Japan. This goes way farther than previous Taepodongs, which is scary for South Korea, Japan and tens of thousands of U.S. servicemembers.

But in light of the insane megalomania of ruler Kim Jong Il, I desperately wanted to write this as our front-page headline tonight:

Kim Jong Il to unveil

his new, bigger Dong

Don’t you wish you could see headlines like that in papers such as The Washington Post, New York Times, The Joplin Globe, etc.? Maybe once the revolution is complete. Until then, we can only dream.

^*The Onion really isn’t the funniest humor site out there, just the most recognizable. I mean, they do hit it right on occasionally, but they also can go a month without writing anything funny. My main complaint about them is their crappy archiving. I was all ready to link to one of their better pieces, “Kim Jong Il unfolds into giant robot,” but when you type in the specific link they redirect you to the current front page. Fine, they want me to see the shitty little splash ads (Not so fast, fuckers – I enabled popup blocking; Macs rule). So I type “jong” in their search bar. I get only one story, and it’s not the one I want. Since the stories were online in the first place, you’d think they would be able to keep a good online archive for future laugh references. But no …

Update: Looks like the Jong Dong is a no-show. Maybe it was cold out in Pyongyang today.

The last two days I’ve been noticing a change in the feel and smell of the air and a certain glory in the nighttime chill – even in D.C., I can feel it creeping in.

Fall is coming. I couldn’t be happier.

I don’t know if I can explain what Fall does to me. Every summer toward the end when I begin picking up hints of Fall in the air I suddenly get buzzed and can’t wait for the chilly evenings and soul-grabbing breezes. As a kid I always looked forward to the end of summer, even though it meant school was coming, because I knew the chilled nights and crunchy days weren’t far behind. In college I loved it even more – it meant another crazed year in an area of the country that does Fall perfectly. There’s always a distinct moment when I take a breath, feel a breeze catch my hair and realize it’s time.

My favorite Fall-realization moment was several years ago, in late August, while rafting the New River Gorge with my college roommate. I’d never been whitewater rafting before and was a little scared of the upper-class rapids, so to allay my fears he borrowed a two-man raft called “The Shredder” and took me down 10 miles of river. Once we passed our first set of rapids and I didn’t fall out, get trapped under a rock by hydraulics and die, I was having the time of my life. We went skinnydipping in a pool to celebrate and ended up doing the rest of the river naked. We felt one with nature and the passing rafting tours got some extra scenery, as did his coworker who followed us in her kayak.

We were on a calm stretch when a strong breeze blew through the gorge, and I could hear the trees groove and the already-starting-to-dry leaves hop around like madmen. Fall was peeking in and saying “hello,” and I got hit, as I almost always do at this moment, with an overwhelming overflow of pure elation and enthusiasm. It ended up being one of the greatest days of my life.

Fall is pure inspiration – writing poetry with the windows open even though you’re cold because you can’t stand to be cut off from the crisp, night air or the way-more-piercing-than-normal moonlight.

Fall is a long-ass bike ride on Rocky Mountain singletrack with occasional stops to listen to the aspens dance that ends on the deck of a bar on the river, sitting outside with your beer and buffalo burger and clothes piled on because it’s too wonderful to go inside and finally coming home muddy, damp and cold so your long, hot shower truly means something.

Fall is big, baggy sweaters, oversized flannel and comforting fleece mixed with campfire cooking, warm, homemade spiced wine and skinnydipping in cold-ass rivers.

Fall is wandering New York City endlessly, filling your lungs with incense and honey-roasted nuts while you try to hit every outdoor market and take in echoing streetcorner jazz, all the while hunting for the perfect slice of pizza.

Fall is getting unexplainably excited like a little kid after four Zingers and suddenly wanting to yell a lot and run or drive really fast with the roof open and going on unplanned, unfeasible road trips just so you can enjoy some Nude Highway Driving.

I’m glad you’re coming, Fall – I really missed you. Hope I don’t let you down.

Note to all candidates: Stop trying to speak Spanish.

Dennis Kucinich

At my high school there were two parking lots – one were the mostly preppy, popular, jocky kids parked, and the “back lot,” near the technical institute that housed all the shop-type classes, where mostly metalheads parked. We were little punk rockers, few in number in podunk Missouri, and couldn’t relate with anyone. And we were geeks. So we parked in the church across the street, who welcomed us and some mornings even gave us free donuts.

This is where Dennis Kucinich parks. He’s the little geeky rebel who’s unafraid of anyone and solid on his positions. He was a fierce little badass during the debate, sticking to such guns as repealing NAFTA despite taking heat from some of the senators. His speaking was full of passion and conviction. He’s not intimidated by the Dark Side at all. My realist side knows he’s a little too geeky and a little too radical to get a Democratic nomination, but the idealist in me thinks he should.

Carol Moseley Braun

Most of the time she had a look on her face that appeared to say “Whoa! I can’t believe I actually am being taken seriously!” I think she’s got some brave ideas and love the fact that she called bullshit on our collective amnesia concerning Osama bin Laden. She was the only candidate who appeared nervous, but she also came across as sharply sincere. She, too, is one of the stronger counterstrikes to the Bush bullies. I don’t know if I think she in particular is ready to be a president, but it does make me sad that America’s overall attitude is such that I know she has no chance in hell merely because she’s a black woman.

Dick Gephardt

There’s a great skit on “Saturday Night Live” with Jim Carrey where he stands up to his boss and yells “I’ll see you in hell!” – much to the amazement and approval of his coworkers, He then proceeds to annoy the shit out of them by using this phrase in every interaction.

Gephardt had the line of the evening – “The president is a miserable failure” – and it drew a huge applause from the crowd and from my couch, which consisted of me. Nothing could be more true. However, Dick used this line a few too many times, probably hoping to get the same response. I do have to admit he was way more impressive than I thought he would be – he came across as Al Gore did in the last few days of that election, when he realized way too late that he was being way too wooden. I expected Dick to waffle much more than he did, and loved that he kept pointing out that Democrats fixed the economy that the GOP had screwed for 12 years. He’s not afraid to say “Clinton.” He also had my second-favorite line of the night, something along the lines of “every one of us is an immigrant unless you’re a Native American.” Good call.

Howard Dean

Now I see what all the fuss is about. I hadn’t really seen Dean speak yet, and while he seemed a little stiff (is he always like that?) he stuck to the issues, is not afraid of specificity, seemed to have direct answers for everything and smoothly stood ground against Lieberman’s feeble potshots. He comes across as very “not political,” which I see as a good thing. He’s kinda like your cool social studies teacher who you slowly learn is brilliant and way hipper than you first thought. He, unlike the senators and Dick, always was against the invasion of Iraq, and he makes no apologies. During the debate he more than anyone seemed like some “regular guy” who just happened to be on stage, but when he spoke he had just as much eloquence as anybody else. I wish I had gone to the Virginia rally.

John Edwards

I’d never seen this guy speak before, either, and I think he speaks amazingly well. He’s probably as good a speaker as Bill Clinton (no matter what you think of Bill or his pasty thighs, he’s damn smart and speaks well), and did a great job of turning the issues into personal stories to make you feel that he can relate to your life. He seems like the most marketable candidate, being all young and handsome and tan. Plus, he is a senator from North Carolina who votes pretty liberally. Except for that whole supporting the Patriot Act thing, of course.

John Kerry

Kerry sounded like a seasoned political gentleman, wise in the ways of how things work. Unfortunately, he also seemed a little too resigned that some things, can’t change. He, like everyone else, was pretty rough on Bush, but we have to remember he did vote for the permission to invade, though now he says he only voted for it to be meant as a threat. I hate to sound superficial, but the hair really does have to go . He is my stereotype of the New England liberal image. Nobody has teeth like that anymore. I was proud of him for not rubbing the Vietnam veteran card in everyone’s face … whenever he did bring it up, I had this image of the other candidates rolling their eyes off-camera. But then again, he did fight and get hurt in a war that Bush avoided through Daddy’s connections (then went AWOL because the Air National Guard was just too demanding).

Bob Graham

He looked pretty stoic and senior, but Bob kinda bored me. His best points, I thought, were about rebuilding America’s infrastructure and how he did that in Florida. I admire him for standing up against the war, and for harping on the myriad treaties Bush has backed out of. I was disappointed he didn’t show off his “thug life” tattoo.

Joe Lieberman

Really, man, just stop. We don’t want any more conservatives running the country. We know Dean threatens you, but the cheap shots at the debate just sucked. Where was your anger in 2000?

Maria Elena Salinas

Really sexy when she fires off questions in Spanish.

I’m not sure who I want to win, but the debate did leave me feeling more optimistic than ever that Bush actually can be dethroned and the country can be fixed (again).