It’s funny how when you’re super-ass grumpy and having a foul day at work things happen that make you smile and realize it all will be OK.

For instance, the news wire moves a shot of Paul Bremer making out with an Iraqi cleric … with Colin Powell visibly excited, watching the action. You know they were sitting around, doing shots, playing Truth or Dare when Colin clamored to his feet and said “Dudes, I totally dare you two to start making out in front of this AP photographer!” Bremer, who never turns down a dare, jumped up and yelled “Man, fuck you!” as Saeed, already hot and bothered, grabbed him and sent him into the throes of Islamic passion with a kiss the likes of which he’ll never feel again.

Or your 70-something-year-old editor calls you from the road to tell you that he heard on the radio that Ben just dumped J.Lo. I mean, what the hell? This guy, who is way cool in his own right, just stares at you blankly in news meetings when you talk about popular culture … and now he’s updating you on news that’s below your age level.

Or a shitty-ass R&B singer who nails underage girls and pees on them while videotaping it comes up with this brilliant quote: “Osama bin Laden is the only one who knows exactly what I’m going through.” Then, thinking he hasn’t hit intellectual bottom, proclaims: “I’m pregnant by music.” Within the week, bin Laden will release a tape to al-Jazeera in which he states: “Sure, I’ll kill thousands of innocents in order to teach a lesson to the infidels, but peeing on 12-year-olds … man, that’s frickin’ gross! I do believe I can fly, though.”

Or your friend who helps run the Asia bureau, who’s in the area for a mind-numbing management seminar in the backwoods of West Virginia, stops by so you can go grab “a beer” after deadline. Properly translated, this means three beers. Three very much-needed beers. Mmmmm, beer.

Once home, you put on some Johnny Cash on vinyl, which leads to some Clash (it’s a natural progression). And poking around, you remember why some songwriters are such ass-kicking music icons:

“Johnny Cash has always seemed larger than life to me. He is a true American hero, beloved the world over as much for his kindness and compassion and championing of the underdog as for the power of his art. He’s been my inspiration, my faithful friend, my champion — a constant oasis of unconditional love and support. His fiercely independent and free spirit, balanced with his love of family, children and his fellow man, will stand as a shining example of the best of what it means to be human. And he was damned funny, even in the darkest times.
I love you, John
In the cold and Holy darkness
You were always shining brighter than a star
God bless you, John
For the love and joy you’ve given
And the living inspiration that you are.”
– Kris Kristofferson