nude highway driving

It really is time for all our congresspeople to be kicked to the curb, forced to work for a living and replaced with idealistic types who actually care about real people. Their brave battle today was to take a stand against those evil French people by renaming food on their cafeteria’s menu. I hope this is menioned during next year’s State of the Union. What better way to utilize their power than to promote racism against another imaginary foe.

Of course, I’d almost rather they focus all their energy on culinary warfare rather than stripping away women’s right to choose while at the same time trying to cut off other solutions to the unwanted pregnancy problem.

But maybe I don’t have to wait too long for my wish. The Redneck Who Lives Across Town took another swipe at the Legislative branch today, and it’s only a matter of time before they’re totally castrated (they often seem willing to wield the knife themselves). He’s already completely castrated the press.

Liberal media bias my ass.

Funny, I never saw John Wayne body-surfing in “The Fighting Seabees.”
In a sign of how the military has changed (or of how so much music has become mainstream), you now can find servicemembers slam-dancing to death metal and breakdancing on a deployed aircraft carrier in the middle of the Persian Gulf. I think they deserve a good party every 45 days, but they must be careful: Death metal is all fun and games until someone gets their skull fractured by a severed sheep’s head.

Spent the weekend getting ready for the adventure on the high seas, and realized all my footwear consists of hiking boots, Doc Martens and a pair of dress shoes. This will not do for a pirate! I’ve never been a sandal guy, so I set off in search of a pair of good cruise shoes.

What better than low-top Chuck Taylor All-Stars?

Chucks have been an important part of my life since I was a 15-year-old back in The Day. At one time I had five pairs of high tops, including the rarely worn and now-embarrassing denim style with flannel lining. My blue Chucks high tops accompanied me into my first Fishbone pit in 1988. My white Chucks made great skateboarding brakes, displayed a comprehensive history of punk rock logos and flapped when I walked. My red Chucks lived for 10 years.

Chucks are an American institution with an edge. One of the greatest ads ever was in Spin magazine (it used to be good) in the mid-80s. A photo of a pair of tattered, bloody Chucks covered in broken glass. The copy said something to the effect of “Iggy Pop wears Chuck Taylors.” Cool kids got it.
My Chucks world changed a little in 1993. I needed shoes that spring. I wanted Chucks. I went down to get a pair, but suddenly high tops didn’t appeal to me anymore. They just didn’t seem right. My world was different.
I bought my first pair of low tops. They were dill green. I felt as if had stepped into a new stage of Life.
Now I have a sweet new blue pair to take on my first cruise since I was 17, the year I split my chin open skating drainage ditches while wearing Chucks. I don’t have the same fashion sense as I did then, but I do have some of the same heroes.
I also have a full-time job, which means I probably shouldn’t be writing about canvas sneakers at 2:30 in the morning. Or I should find a different job …

I just put this page up today, trying my hand late last night with Movable Type so I can try to feel like I have some intelligence and coding skill somewhere in my brain. Style sheets still make the voices come back.
Do you ever look back and think “Damn, if only I’d kept teaching myself computer languages after BASIC and PASCAL on my Apple II+ I would be grasping all this scripting/coding/programming stuff much easier”?
Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I have geek envy.
I don’t know.
But I do know there are better things Americans can do with their time than fight wars in Iraq or watch reality TV. I also know D.C.’s had a miserable winter and I am so 1,592 miles out of here .