nude highway driving

The Post had a pretty decent piece on the evils of high-fructose corn syrup the other day - it’s nice to see more people realizing part of what makes Americans large. It’s cheaper than sugar, tastes sweeter and arguably is more efficient at negatively affecting your physique. Some people even see the adoption of high-fructose corn syrup as the secret reason behind the New Coke debacle, though others reject this.

Predictably, corn industry spokespeople said losing weight is all about the exercise. It is about the exercise, and I’m the first person to say Americans need to get off their asses, but I kinda disagree with the chick from the Corn Refiners Association who says: “You can not discontinue the use of any one food or beverage and expect tomorrow — or even in 10 years from now — to be thin without increased physical activity.”

I’m sorry, but when you cut out processed sugar you lose weight … often to the tune of a pound a day. My mountain-biking friend does it every year. I cut out processed everything, including flour and legumes and grains, and lost a pound a day for 10 days, eventually losing 20 pounds since December 1. I haven’t increased my exercise at all (not on purpose, I’m just, uhhh, busy). I just eat based on a theory that agriculture and the modern foods that follow it are way too recent for evolution to catch up, so we should eat what we ate 50,000 years ago: Meat, vegetables, fruits and nuts (not to be confused with legumes). Basically, anything you could eat raw in the wild without getting super sick or dying. Stricter than Atkins in the sense that I never eat bread or pasta, but less strict in that I don’t watch my carb intake from fruits and vegetables. Sure, you have to alter your habits, including if you go to church (Just kidding, Jesus), but being in great shape and having your stomach feel fine all the time is worth it.

Unfortunately for us, everyone eating well would hurt the American economy, since so much business is built on getting consumers hooked on crap they don’t physically need that harms their health but is cheap to make. And you don’t want to make the business community angry. You are being watched.